EMP Mormon Journal - By Sarah Hunt Mahler

One night I went to bed and by the time I woke, my whole world was different and would never be the same.

The events of the night of the 2nd of September 1995 changed my life in ways I could never have imagined.  I had returned home after having enjoyed an evening with some dear friends.  My downstairs bedroom in a friend’s old Queenslander home was my haven.  As I said my prayers before going to sleep, I acknowledged how blessed I felt to live in such a beautiful place, surrounded by the company of wonderful friends.

When I was startled by a very bright torch light blinding my eyes a few hours later, I wasn’t certain if I was awake or asleep and tried to orient myself to make sense of what was happening.  The young man’s words and actions made it very clear that he had evil designs on me. Overcome by fear, no sound came out when I tried to scream.  Eyes now shut, my struggle to protect myself seemed futile.  Right at the very moment I felt resigned that I couldn’t stop him from hurting me or continue defending myself any longer, my elderly neighbour turned on her kitchen light.  The slight illumination cast into my room caused the man to jump off me and run away.  My wounds were tended to and the police, detectives and K9 unit were eventually satisfied that they’d investigated the incident as best they could.

Realising the mass and mess of emotions and issues I now had to deal with left me doubting if I would ever feel normal or whole again.  Overcoming my intense fear of the dark, my inability to sleep soundly, and feeling unsafe around many male strangers seemed insurmountable.  I felt broken and scared, fearful of what the next day would bring, incapable of making any plans for the future.

Not knowing anyone else who had experienced a brutal assault and attempted rape left me feeling painfully alone.  Although I had loving and supportive friends and family around me, there was very little they could actually do to help ease my inner aching.  I attended counselling, and that did help somewhat.  Ultimately though, my road to healing came from turning my entire broken self over to the Saviour, completely submitting myself to Him and trusting in Him as my confidant and best friend.  I threw myself into the study of His word in the scriptures and found messages that felt specifically tailored to me.  The greatest lesson He taught me came when I began to understand the depth and breadth of His atonement.  Under His divine tutelage, I learned that the Saviour’s atonement is not only necessary and beneficial for those who sin, but is especially and specifically tailored for those who have been sinned against through the actions of others.

In a poem I wrote a couple of years after the assault, I explained my understanding of this principle in these words: “Sarah, in the Garden of Gethsemane I bled from every pore and by accepting my offering, you need suffer no more.  I have paid the price for the sin of that man.  Though he may never see justice by the law of this land, he hasn’t escaped the law of eternity, that is, unless, he too comes unto Me.”  My Saviour taught me that His atonement had already paid for my perpetrator’s violent acts against me.  Because of His perfect sacrifice, I could be cleansed from all its effects, be healed and become whole again.  Realising this also illuminated an empathy and compassion for my perpetrator that I would never have anticipated.  I was able to completely forgive him and release feelings of ill will against him.  I sincerely hope he will find Jesus Christ in his life and partake of His atonement in order that he too might become whole and heal from his pain.

The assault has been among my life’s greatest trials.  It has also truly been among my greatest blessings and strength sources as I reflect on the lessons learned.  I discovered things about myself, my Heavenly Father and Jesus Christ that I could have learned in no other way. Paraphrasing William R. Palmer’s famous pioneer quote, the experience was well worth the price I had to pay for the privilege of becoming acquainted with God in my extremities.  I testify that our Saviour lives and His atonement is real.

By Sarah Hunt Mahler


Sarah is the eldest of four children in the Hunt family - three girls and one boy.  Her parents were both converts.  Sarah also has four children - three girls and one boy.  After a period of being single for four and a half years, Sarah married, 'the love of my life', in December last year, and she and her family are very happy.  While living in the States, Sarah completed a College Associate degree and Certificate in Para-Legal Studies, at the LDS Business College in Salt Lake City.  She is now studying a degree in Psychology with Honours, part-time at Griffith University.  When she has time, Sarah LOVES to rummage through second-had stores - she loves the 'thrill of the quest'!  She also loves swing-dancing and rockabilly.  Asked to describe herself, Sarah answered, 'resourceful, thrifty, introverted, confident, and responsible'.  


(By S.Munro)