Laughter - The Best Medicine?

In about September/October of grade eleven, we had the semi-formal. When you're IN grade eleven, that's a really big deal. It's a lot like the formal  that you have in grade 12, but just a tiny bit less fancy: basically, your parents drive you, rather than hiring limos to drive you. Otherwise it's pretty much the same as the formal.

I remember being excited about the semi, and mum sewed me the most beautiful outfit. It was a beautiful red dress made of a silky microfibre fabric that looked fabulous.  I really liked it :)

I'm pretty sure Mum was still finishing off my dress on the night though - because we were running really late! (I'll interject here quickly and assure Mum that I know it was my fault we were running so late, since I never made decisions about what I wanted until the very last minute, lol!). I seem to remember that my date was actually in the living room waiting, and mum and I were rushing around in her bathroom to finish my hair and make-up. I had really long hair back then, and I'd decided to wear it out and curly with a diamanté slide I think. Once that was done, it was just my make-up that needed doing.

I don't remember exactly how what happened next happened, but one minute we were shaking the liquid foundation bottle (with a finger over the top), and the next minute, I inexplicably had liquid foundation ALL OVER ME! All over my hair, sitting perfectly over both shoulders, and all over the front of my beautiful new red dress. In my memory, at that moment, time just hung for a moment, as we both just stared in horror at my reflection in the mirror. Our eyes widened, our eyebrows rose, and our jaws dropped.

And then, mum suddenly started laughing. And I don't just mean a giggle. It was one of those 'I have never laughed so hard in my life' kind of laughs. I started shreiking and wailing and panicking and getting into hysterics (naturally!), and that just seemed to make mum laugh even harder. I actually remember mum dropping to the floor of the bathroom and sitting there, holding her sides as she laughed! And everytime she'd look up at me, a whole new round of laughter would start up.

Of course in spite of myself, I started laughing a little bit too (not too much though - I mean, I was covered in foundation!). And as Mum finally finished laughing and stood up to 'fix things', I remember her explaining to me (as I demanded to know WHAT could possibly be so funny!) that sometimes things just go so terribly wrong that there's really nothing you can do but laugh (she might not have used those exact words, but that's the gist of what I remember).

Dad was duly summoned and dispatched with a message for my date that he'd better make himself comfortable. The dress had to come off, be hand washed and then 'hair drier' dried, and my hair had to be washed out as best as we could in the sink and then re-dried and curled. It took a while, but there was no other way around it.

I remember having a good time with mum that night, and that in the end, it all worked out just fine (my date may not have the same memory, but he's not the one writing this).

I have often thought of that night - especially when things go terribly wrong! I'm really grateful that laughter was mum's first response. I often remember it when I find my eyes widening, my eyebrows rising, and my jaw dropping, and it's a lesson that has served me well on more occassions than I can count.

Because when it's between laughing and crying, you might as well laugh. In any event, you'll have a better time cleaning up a mess! :)


By Tammy Munro

Laugh

Since I was a child, the ability to laugh has become somewhat of a survival mechanism. Having grown up with various types of abuse in our home, my siblings and I have had to find a means of escape. Being children, our imaginations helped us find humour in many things and we have all grown up with finely tuned senses of humour.

As a mature adult, sometimes laughter comes from some unexpected places, and has very surprising effects.

One day while visiting my eldest daughter, my middle daughter’s four year old girl wanted to play on the trampoline downstairs. I accompanied her to make sure she was safe. We played a bit of tag and then her mother came downstairs and suggested I get on the trampoline. Now I am not a small person and could not see me bouncing up and down, so I climbed onto the trampoline, and just lay there, with my grand-daughter bouncing around me. There is nothing quite as weird as laying on your back being bounced on a trampoline: It joggles your brain, electrically charges your hair and gives you a dreadful case of the giggles.

Because it made me laugh, my grand-daughter thought I was thoroughly enjoying it and bounced even harder, which increased the effects. By the time I managed to climb off, my stomach muscles were sore, tears were rolling down my cheeks and my hair was standing up on end. I was exhausted… but I felt pretty good considering.

My daughter couldn’t believe how I seemingly lost control and thought it was amazing…she had never seen me laugh so hard. And every time we went to her sister’s house, she would suggest I go and PLAY on the trampoline.

The crazy thing about it is, that night I went to bed at the usual time and woke early the next morning. I had not woken during the night to take pain killers or go to the toilet. This was very unusual for me and I was amazed at how well I had slept.

Could this be the result of my trampoline experience? I’m pretty sure it was, as I have repeated the “process” again with the same result.

So if you need a stress release exercise or have trouble sleeping…seriously you have to give this a try…but you have to have fun doing it…It’s the LAUGHING that does the trick.

By Toni Paton

"Then the clouds opened up and God said..."

Last week was a series of unfortunate events for our little family.  It started off with a small something gone wrong here or there, but by the end it seemed like I was sitting in a disaster zone!

On Saturday we woke up excited for Maggie's birthday party, only to find Ana asleep in the midst of a cot full of vomit - she'd been sick in the night and James and I never heard a sound, so she mustn't have even cried!  The morning swam by, giving Ana hugs and warm showers while she continued to be sick over and over, while trying to get things ready for the party!!  The party came and went.  Maggie had a lovely time, and we took turns with Ana up in our unit, separate from the celebrations.  A doctor came out that afternoon and said it was possibly an ear infection and it should go away soon.

On Sunday I stayed home from church so Ana could rest, because she was still being sick.  James and Maggie went to church, but everyone was sent home early because the weather was insane and it was getting a bit dangerous.  Apparently we had the dregs of a cyclone passing through over the next day or two.  Just before dark, our power went out.  We ate cold leftovers for dinner, put the children to bed, lit candles and chilled on our big bean bags by the back door, talking for hours and watching the storm.  Apart from worrying about Ana, it was a cool night with the storm and the candles, just relaxing!

On Monday morning we woke up to no power, still!  James went in search of ice to keep our fridge cool and there was wreckage all over the streets, and nothing had power!  All the servos around us were closed, fast food, everything.  He drove a while away and found a girl at a servo just closing up, and convinced her to let him pay her cash for some ice. It was the public holiday for Australia Day, so James wasn't working and we were planning to pack all day.  We called Energex and the hotline said they were attempting to have our power back on by "6:30 tomorrow evening".  We thought it must be a mistake, but by the end of the day I had driven our meat and James' work shirts to Mum and Dad's place, 5 minute down the road where everybody still had power(!!!), to cook and iron there.  Eating by candlelight was a LOT less fun.  And Ana hadn't eaten a thing for her 3rd day running, and was still dry heaving, so we had a doctor out to our place Monday night, where he examined her by candlelight and again found basically nothing wrong but prescribed antibiotics just in case of infection..

Tuesday morning I drove James to work, and we stopped at a bakery on the way so he could grab some food.

• Our kitchen was flooded from the ice, which had melted, and everything in our fridge was officially 'off'. 
• The baby's nappy exploded and our sheets, his sheets, and a bunch of his clothes were covered in poo.  I rinsed them and put them in the powerless washing machine, along with a bunch of things covered in vomit from Ana.  
• Washing situation getting desperate.  
• I went to Mum and Dad's house and we ate some food and hung out in their air con for a bit.  Home was a little depressing.  I was HANGING OUT for 6:30pm so desperately!! 
• Ana was still miserable, but actually ate a little! - first time since Friday night!  
• My amazing little sister was bringing us dinner that night.  
• I went home to wash our dishes and realised our hot water was off!! It had finally run out - we hadn't thought to ration it.  
• I was meant to be packing.  We were moving in 5 days.  Our house was a complete mess.  I mopped up more of the water seeping from the bottom of our fridge.  It was 'stinking hot'.
• Took our rotten food in bags down to our bins.  Many neighbours in the units surrounding us were out discussing the things that had rotted or been ruined for them.

Called Energex again (Okay, I got a little obsessed with calling Energex for updates) and the message told me they were attempting to restore power by "10:30 Thursday morning"

!!!

I hung up and looked around me.  Ana was lying down miserably, not playing.  Maggie running riot.  Our house was completely covered in boxes and packing tape, bits of half-packed things and other mess.  We had no sheets on 3 of our beds.  They were in the washing machine covered in poo and/or vomit.  There was no hot water.  Our kitchen was covered in dirty dishes.  We were all dirty and hot, and running out of clean clothes.  I had a beautiful newborn sweating nearby (who knew how efficient and awesome fans are?!).  The roads surrounding us were flooding.  There were 2 roads out of our area and they were completely crazy.  All of the food in our fridge was rotten.  And it was so hot!  And the power wasn't coming back on until THURSDAY?!!!!! I flung myself dramatically on the couch ready to cry, when suddenly a line from that movie we all loved when we were 8 came to mind:

"Then the clouds opened up and God said, "I hate you, Alfalfa!"

I starting laughing instead.  "The Susan Hayward - the exquisite tragedy of it all!" (movie?!).  What a HORRIBLE week!!! And we were NOT remotely ready to move.  The next morning Dad came to pick me up and rescue me in their home for another day.  It took an hour and a half for him to come and take me back to their place, normally 5 minutes away.  Those 2 roads were carparks, and it seemed like everywhere was flooded.  Bless having the most patient man in the world for a father - thanks Daddy!  He's also the man who cooked up all our meat for us so it didn't go off, and Mum hosted us and fed us cold food every day! - thank goodness for kind family!! - and offers from my other sisters for more help.

Fortunately, and miraculously, our power came back on on Wednesday afternoon at about 2pm! About 20 hours early!!! Bless Energex!!

I know we have so much to be grateful for, and even our 'disaster week' has nothing on many peoples every day living situations all over the world, and we didn't lose our home or anything... but boy was it miserable!!

So you can imagine my delight when I called our power company to transfer our power to our new home this weekend, and they told me they wouldn't be able to hook it up until 2 days after we moved in... !! - but that's another story :)

By Abby Easthope

Home-made Present Idea - Family Quote Book

We've home-made our Christmas presents since the children were little.  One year our daughter, Abby, spent a couple of months jotting down some of the silly/funny/wacky/witty/you-really-had-to-be-there comments made by various members of our family, (whenever she remembered and felt like it), then compiled them into a family quote book for that year.  

After typing out the quotes and printing a front and back cover, she used our home binder to make them into A5 size books, complete with clear plastic covers, then gave them as Christmas presents that year.

This was the back cover, below:

  

I'm sure that we are not the only family who make these silly/wacky/funny/witty/you-had-to-be-there kind of comments..   (are we?)  Of course we all forget the things that are said unless someone does write them down. I'ts fun to remember them though... so perhaps you can use this idea too :)

Below is a small selection of the quotes from that year's book ...

(You may not find these funny, but your own version of the Family Quote Book might be hilarious! :)

___________

Abby: Jonny that was my healthy lunch you just ate!

Jonny: I only took a bite – now it’s healthier! :)

Abby (in art class): I just picked this picture (a cute, cartoon skeleton) because I liked it.

Tutor: No, you have to give a deeper interpretation.

Abby: Okay…  I picked this picture because it reminds me of my brother (class laughs) cause we’re always visiting him in hospital with the cancer and he broke his neck and back in a car accident…

Class: (long, uncomfortable silence)

Abby: (uncontrollable giggle)

Mum: We’ve just had an explosion here!

Abby: An explosion??!!

Mum: Yes.

Abby: As in… ?

Mum: Bang!

Ben: The battery blew up.

Abby: No way!

Oliver: Yeah we haven’t had an explosion like that since Ben attached his little car thing that he made through wire into the electrical socket!

Mum: He what?!?!

Ben: It’s okay – you already got me in trouble for that one.

Mum: Oh, good! Don’t do it again.

Ben: (wicked grin)

Dad: You hit all the wrong notes.

Abby: (playing viola) No I didn’t!

Dad: Well then I hate the song!

Oliver: (to his identical twin) Ben, you’re really, ridiculously good-looking!

Bethy: I could cook meals for them..  (to help out a family in need)

Oliver: Um..  They’re already sick.

Abby (about Sarah) : She’s my friend!

Jonny: No, she’s my friend!

Okay, we’ll put her in the middle of the room and both call her and see who she goes to.

Ben: Oliver, you’re really ridiculously good-looking!

Bethy (playing the card game Phase 10):  So, we have to get 2 sets of 3…won’t everyone run out of 3’s?

Jonny (calling home): Hey Bethy, are mum or dad there?

Bethy: Who’s this?

Jonny: Are you serious? It’s Jonny.

Bethy: Oh – okay, hold on…

(mum answers phone)

Jonny: Hey, can some people come over tonight?

Mum: Who is this?

Jonny: (sigh)

Dad: We’ll sing the first verse of ‘O How Lovely was the Morning’. I know it’s a big choir song, but –

Mum: I’ll take first soprano!

Abby: I’ll do descant!

Mick: I’ll take bass!

Jonny: I’ll take tenor!

Bethy: I’ll take alto!

Ben: I’ll take audience!

Jonny: Why did the blonde get thrown out of the M&M factory? … Because she kept throwing out all the ‘W’s.

Mum: What was wrong with the ‘W’s?

Abby: How do you get ink out of a white skirt?

Tammy: Are you paying me out because I tried white-out that time?

Tammy: Remember that time I tried to suck the air out of that bag of cut onions and I nearly passed out?

Dad: What would the family be like if we only had Mick and Tammy?

Ben: Uhm… well I guess I really wouldn’t know.

Dad: (opening a Christmas present) Honey this is from your mother… oh… we’ve adopted a platypus…

Dad: Honey you need to work on focusing.

Mum: You guys don’t understand, I can focus on lots of things at once!

Tammy: Mum, the definition of ‘focusing’…

Ben: No, Oliver! That was my only ruler you just broke!

Beth: Yeah.. but now you have 2!

Abby: I didn’t get to sleep at all on the flight.

Mum: Yes you did, because you kicked me in your sleep and then you smiled…I think you were asleep!

Abby: Oh yeah that’s right – slept for ages!

Mum: Wait, this road looks familiar! … I think we’ve been lost here already.

Abby: (opening a Christmas present) Yay! More undies!!

Mum: They’re Elle MacPhersons!

Micky: What is it with second hand undies?

Abby: We should do Denise Austin’s 30 minute blockbuster workout!

Jonny: Okay – how long does it take?

Mum: Abby, stop sticking your bottom out – stand up straight.

Abby: I’m not sticking it out.

Mum: Oh...

Micky: I just heard on the radio that in the last year several large asteroids passed very close to earth, and a NASA scientist published his belief that they were flung at earth from a civilisation millions of light years away.

Abby: Haha – and they missed!

Bethy: What’s Al Qaeda?

Mum: You don’t know?

Bethy: Well I mean, I know it’s a place…

Jonny: Learning Korean was awesome - I’m the smart kid! The hardest bit was trying to read the English translations.

Mum: Jessima you have beautiful eyes.

Dad: And lovely teeth.

Mum: And you’re a lovely height.

Oliver: They’re going to eat you.

Jonny: Here’s a sharpener.

Dad: I’ve got one and mine’s better.

Jonny: Mine has Barbie on it, how could yours be better?

Dad: Mine doesn’t have Barbie on it.

Oliver: (beat-boxing)

Abby: Hey you’re almost as good as Jonny at that!

Jonny: How insulting!

Abby: Okay you’re right – Oliver you’re way better than Jonny!

Abby: I’m excited for the houseboat, but we’ll get bored.

Dad: Are you serious?! Swimming, fishing –

Abby: Swimming? Are you serious?! What about crocodiles, haven’t you been to Australia Zoo?

Dad: There are no crocodiles in the Tweed River!

Abby: Really?

Dad: The sharks ate them all.

Ben (at the Pancake Parlour): How freaky would this place be if it were twice as big, and the lights were really dim……and you could hear shuffling…

Abby: I’m so excited about the houseboat! Except I don’t think I’ll swim cause of sharks.

Oliver: I know! We can fish, catch all the sharks and then swim!

Jonny: Except you’ll probably catch the babies and the mum shark will eat you!

Micky: Or catch all the fish and so the sharks are hungry and then eat you.

Abby: Yeah… I’ll watch.

Jonny: Mum - I’m not perfect.

Mum: I know Honey - you get that from your father.

Jonny: Can I have some chocolate?

Dad: Steal your own!

………………(a while later)……………………

Bethy: Where’s my chocolate?

Dad: Jonny is that Bethy’s chocolate?!

Jonny: You said ‘steal your own’!

Jonny: She was aiming for my head!

Mum: It being the biggest target!

Micky: When mediocre results are required, I’m your man!

Dad: Bethy your friends won’t even notice if you’re not there!

Bethy: Of course they will, there are only 2 of them!

Mum: Oh, sorry to keep you waiting – I put some hand cream on and I couldn’t get out the door!

Mum: Bethany you really do need to stop acting dumb.

Bethy: I’m not acting!!

Mum: (hearing the end of a conversation): Who has 2 right feet??

All: Ben!

Ben: Hey! – Mine are left!

Ben (After singing ‘Give Said the Little Stream’ in FHE): I always thought that song said ‘give said the little string!

Oliver: Me too! I couldn’t figure out why it was running down the hill… or why it was a Primary song.

Micky: Sorry Tam I couldn’t hear you – Abby was talking to me and she’s pretty much impossible to ignore.

Tammy: It's ok, Helen Keller couldn’t ignore her!

Abby: Wow, Oliver! – You knew something I didn’t! Quick, go and write it in a little book!

Oli: Uhm, that book is full.

Bethy: Did we get a heap of new bowls recently?

Abby: Uh…we did but ages ago.

Bethy: Well I’ve been meaning to ask that question for a while.

Mum:  You know that sort of deal - where they end up throwing in everything including your grandmother?
Tammy:  I always wonder where they get those poor women from...

Dad:  It's going to rain this Saturday.
James:  Really?
Dad:  Yep.  Because there's a baby shower.

Oliver:  How do you sing high?
Tammy:  Ahhhh  (high note)
Oliver:  No, I mean, how can I sing high?
Tammy:  You can't, you're a boy.
Oliver:  That's not true!

Ben:  Man, rejection's the best!  We got so much of it on our mini-missions..  I'm going to be set for dating!

Oliver:  I knocked on a door and said that we were from the Church of Jesus Christ of Latter-day Saints - and then I got stuck on what to say next..  But that was ok because the door was already shut by then.

Bethy:  Which writing is the English?

Ben:  I'm hot.
Bec: .....  anyway, back to the world of reality...

(Dad, ringing from work)
Mum:  Hello?
(pause, then muffled noises, pause again)
Dad:  (laughing)  Hello!  I just picked up the mouse and put it to my ear!

Mum:  How did driving with Oliver go?
Bec:  Oh, good!  We're going to get hats that say, 'Bunny-Hops-R-Us'!

Beth:  Oh James, I thought you were a twin!
James:  Pfffft, the twins don't look this good!

Ben:  Yeah, but look at my sunburn, it's really bad!
Oliver:  You think you have it bad, mine's swollen!  (pulls up sleeve and flexes bicep)

Jonny:  I hate always being good at everything.
Abby:  I know how you feel.
Jonny:  No you don't .

Tammy:  Do historians know where the site of the actual Babylon was?
Dad:  Yes, where Iran is now.
Jonny:  But do they take into account that it fell?  Cos see I'm thinking it's probably down near Saudi Arabia.

Ben:  Hey Oli, wouldn't it be cool if we got married on the same day?
Oliver:  No, I don't want to have to wait that long!

Ben:  I feel like there's a lot of pressure on me to pass my drivers' test
Mum:  Oh, don't think about all that.  Just make sure you get it.

Tammy:  This is weird tasting cheese!  Oh, it's butter.  That'll be it then!

Oliver:  Jessima, we used to be friends.
Jessima:  We're family.  Family aren't friends, family are more than friends.  You're stuck with me for eternity! Unless you don't make it.

Mum:  And her second husband died?
Abby:  Yes, she nursed him to death.

Elder Farnell:  You have to give it to a non-member.
Jessima:  My dad's a non-member.
Elder Farnell: Awesome!

Bethy:  How would you feel if you were a child and your mother was an actress and you saw her wearing...
Mum:  Nothing?
Bethy:  Yes!  And doing...
Mum:  Something?

Abby: Remember that ‘M.A.T.C.H’ game? – you’re gonna live in an attic, drive a skateboard, marry Brad Pitt and have 37½ children!

Oliver: Gee, I’d hate to be the half!

Jonny: What are you talking about - you are the half!!

Tammy:  Oh Bethy, you're from another planet.  That's what I love about you.

Jillina:  Do you still have a mirror in your dining room?
Tammy:  Yes.
Jillina:  Does Abby still sit opposite it?

Jason:  Would that 24hr shop still be open?

(halfway through mum’s FHE activity)

Jonny: Oh! Can we play a game??

Mum: We are playing a game!

Jonny: Oh… I mean… a fun one! 
Mum:  sigh                                                                                                       

___________

Ok, you may not get them all, but to us they are funny -

and that's the point really, that our family enjoys having this!

Bethy put out a second edition a few years later...

We had three more people in the family by then :)

By Sandy Munro

Why I Will Never Pack Light Again

I've been to Sydney a couple of times recently for work.  This past week I was there for two days: Got up at 3am on Tuesday morning, caught a 5am flight. Worked all day. Stayed in a hotel that night, got up Wednesday morning, worked on Wednesday, and then flew home Wednesday night. (Now you have the logistical context for this story).


Well, as I was doing my customary 'throw some things in my small suitcase a few minutes before heading out the door' thing on Tuesday morning, it occurred to me that I really did not need a small suitcase, surely.  It was just one night. Surely a little overnight bag (that doesn't even have wheels) will be fine, right? I mean, I'm wearing Tuesday's clothes, so just throw in pajamas, Wednesday's clothes, and a toothbrush! There's shampoo, conditioner, soap etc. at the hotel.  And on a final whim, I didn't even throw in my hairdryer, because they have those in the hotel too.  I was taking my iPad and my laptop, so I had anything else I would need right there.

Delightedly, I found that my little overnight bag was so empty that I was able to fit the iPad and laptop into my overnight bag.  Ohhhhh yeah.  I strutted that bag down to the car with all the swagger of a true packing-light rockstar.

Driving to the airport is always the moment where I stress and wrack my brain a little until I can figure out what it is that I've forgotten to pack:.... mmm.....mmmm....mmmm.... Ah! Deodorant.  I forgot deodorant...... Okay, well, there's nothing I can do about that, and it's better than the time I forgot my makeup, or the time I forgot my shoes.  I'll just shower at the last minute tomorrow morning, and I'm only filming for a few hours before I'm just laptop working by myself at the airport for the afternoon, so I should be able to get away with it. I have a plan. Disaster largely averted.

Shooting went well Tuesday, got a lot of laptop work done Tuesday night.  Had a good sleep.  Got up early Wednesday morning. Had a shower. Went to blow dry my hair, and realized that the hotel hairdryer actually blows about one 100th of the amount of hot air that an actual hairdryer does.  Oh no. Well, on the upside, I wasn't in too much of a hurry, so I spent the hour it took to get my hair mostly dry. Not a great hair day I'm afraid. Had to half clip it back and looked more like a 15 year old than anything else.  Oh well.  Don't think about it.  Went to finish getting dressed and got down the iron and ironing board to iron my clothes.  Realized the iron didn't have a place to pour water. Obviously a really cheap, dumb iron that probably wouldn't even get hot! Grrr! Just like the hairdryer. Nothing works. *sigh*  *heavy sigh*  Oh well, cranked it up and tried to do my best to iron my shirt even though the iron would be useless.

Promptly burned a massive, double fist sized hole right through the middle of the back of my shirt.

I just stood there, staring at it for a moment, and actually attempted the thought 'Maybe no one will notice?' which even I had to admit was a ridiculous thing to think.  Panicked. Realized I hadn't brought an extra shirt with me like I normally do, because I was a packing light ninja. Finally admitted that I would have to wear yesterday's shirt again (which I hoped no one would notice, although of course it was a bright red shirt, so anyone with a brain would notice), and of course I had no deodorant, and it was yesterday's shirt.  PLUS, it was wrinkled because I'd tossed it in my bag last night and it really needed an iron.  I couldn't chance that though - it was my last shirt and I couldn't really wear my pajama top!  So on went my smelly wrinkled top.  At least I had a new skirt for today.  Took some solace in that thought as I put it on.

Went into the bathroom to put on makeup.  My liquid foundation was almost empty, so I was shaking the bottle.  It slipped out of my fingers and landing on the floor - spraying (what turned out to be a lot of) foundation all over the front of my skirt. Like, all over the skirt.  My first thought:  "I can not wear yesterday's skirt too!".  So I pulled it off, lay it out on the bed, got soap and water and attacked that skirt!  Half an hour later, it was sopping wet, but the foundation marks were at least a little bit less obvious.  If you squinted your eyes a little. A lot.

Hung the skirt up to dry, put on yesterday's skirt, grabbed the book I was reading and headed down to have the lovely buffet breakfast that had been included with the hotel stay.  It was a lovely spread, and I was trying to forget that I was wearing all of yesterday's clothes.  I got a nice hot breakfast, sat down to eat in the lovely restaurant, pulled out my book to read. Cut into the grilled tomato and proceeded to squirt 87 tomatoes worth of tomato juice all over the white table cloth. The silver lining: it squirted away from me and yesterday's shirt, but I was still absolutely horrified. It completely covered the table cloth in a half metre ring around my plate.  How did that one tomato do that? It should be off winning some kind of 'world's juiciest tomato' contest, not sitting here on my plate!

At this point I froze, and decided not to move for the rest of the day. It had become painfully obvious that I was simply not business trip material! I was a serious danger to myself, and probably anyone else who came too close!

But then I got hungry, so I finished my breakfast.

The good news is that nothing too terrible happened for the rest of the day (other than working with the crew while sporting yesterdays crinkled, smelly top and a sopping wet skirt with a 15 year old hair do).

But I've learnt a few lessons:
1) Always bring deodorant
2) Always bring your hairdryer
3) Always bring spare clothes
4) It's probably a good idea to also bring the kitchen sink

Happy packing!!


By Tammy Munro

'Live, Learn, Laugh and Love - Back In The Old Days'

Bet this didn't happen to you!

"All those who feel that they can sustain Gretta Holzworth as a member of Brisbane Ward Relief Society, please show by the lifted hand?" 

This is how I became a member of Relief Society! I was twenty four years and married. 

I had been born in the Church and active all my life.

My mother was the Relief Society President, she had a tear in her eye when after being sustained in the Sacrament meeting, I was then sustained in Relief Society as my mother conducted the meeting that day.

You had to be a member in good standing in the Church and in the community and have attended Relief Society three weeks in a row. It was an honour and privilege to be invited to be a member of Relief Society. It was a special event for all the family.

So began a wonderful, marvellous, extraordinary, life changing, most important chapter in my life.

Wow, has it been a journey!

In those days we paid an annual subscription to the General Board of Relief Society. Each auxiliary of the Church had its own funds, they raised what was needed and spent as they thought best. We had a membership card from General Board which showed that we were paid up and a current member of Relief Society. No one had yet thought that it was a program of the Church, inaugurated by the Prophet Joseph Smith and was for all sisters. That came later. 

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Tuesday was Relief Society day. Just about around the world, Tuesday was the designated day, much like Family Home Evening is Monday, 10.00am -12noon.

The chapel was at Kangaroo Point where the temple is now and we all caught buses and trams to get there. 

I lived in Tarragindi. I had a half mile walk to the bus stop, jump off the bus at Chardon's Corner which is across the road from the Mater Hospital and then tackle the walk up Allan Street to the KP chapel.

In my hands I had the stroller with baby inside. Packed around baby was a nappy bag, baby needs, lesson manual, scriptures, visual aids, stuff and in my spare hand was the toddler and at one stage I had three children under three years to deal with. Was I ever discouraged? Never! I smiled and thought about my lesson, huffed and puffed, wiped the perspiration from off my brow and pushed on undaunted. I was quite mad, wasn't I ????

I was always a teacher in RS or served in an administrative role.

Coming home was worse!! Of course the children would go to sleep! The poor bus driver would soon realise that if he was to ever be able to move on, then the quicker he grabbed the stroller and took a child's hand and helped us all get off his bus, the quicker he would be on his way!

The lessons were Theology, Work Meeting, Social Relations and Cultural Refinement, in that order, with Visiting Teaching message. Eventually these changed to Spiritual Living, Homemaking, Mother Education and Cultural Refinement.

We loved Homemaking day.

We inaugurated our own mini class program as we moved from 'Work Meeting' where we did all the hand sewing on clothing articles usually made by the multi talented and faithful, Betty Geddes, for the ever happening street stalls.

Lunch was always the highlight. It was a sit down affair, knife, fork & spoon with cloths & flowers. Two courses always, the cost shared by the sisters attending, or the two sisters assigned the lunch (usually a once a year task) who would provide it. Sarah Scott would always bring parsley, eggs, lemons, new dripping, jams, Lemon Butter, relish, etc, which she produced from her garden and sell it us for a pittance and then give to the sisters who prepared and provided our lunch.

At home that night, we all made for dinner the new recipes demonstrated at lunch.

We talked the talk. Oh how we talked about everything and everyone around those lunch tables.

Rosemary Knoth would always blow us away with the description of her extravagant lunches which she made for her husband and three children. We would sit with gaping mouths as she described, what none of us ever even imagined, that she would buy a chicken, cook it and strip the meat for the lunch sandwiches!!! Unheard of! Chicken was for Christmas Dinner!

Oh, and we will never forget when Zillah Rope, 42 years, announced that she and her husband Stewart wanted to have another baby, and she did.

Then Rosemary Knoth and Deanna Dunham decided that they wished to lose a lot of weight and made a pact that they would not eat any food, only drink fluids, for one week. We couldn't wait for the next Tuesday to meet up again and yes, they did it, became sick and weak but stuck to their promise and both lost a stone in weight, about seven kilos.

Guess what? Next Tuesday, they both arrived very sorrowfully to announce that not only had they put the lost weight back on, but a few more pounds as well!!!

We young mothers learned so much from the other sisters. On how we loved each other. How we shared each other's burdens. Many a problem was shared and solved over the washing up in the kitchen following our fabulous lunch. We also got to take bits and pieces home. The sisters were truly my sisters. We worked hard on caring for the missionaries, earning the money to pay the debt we owed the Church as our share in the cost of the Kangaroo Point building. There was a Building Fund event every month, mainly orchestrated by the Relief Society. We were all shapes and sizes, ages, different backgrounds, different personalities, - we all loved and dealt with the sister from England, who played the organ and felt that she was the best at this and kept the key to the organ hidden so that only she did all the playing! We loved the romance which blossomed between Sam Parker 70 years and Lily Burns, same age. The RS put on the greatest reception for their wedding.

In fact, as each of our young people married, which took place in the chapel, the Relief Society, under the direction of the mother, always prepared and served the 'sit down' reception which followed the wedding. This was in the Cultural Hall where no effort was spared to make everything as pretty and special as possible.

We wept tears when we grew in number and the day came when we were divided as a ward, again and again. Our children grew up together, served missions and remained faithful.Our Priesthood leaders loved us also. We were well supported by them. When I look back, I am amazed at the extraordinary things we accomplished and cherish the strong bonds of sisterhood which we shared, the laughter, tears the good and bad of life.

Together, those early years of my life in Relief Society was where I learned to grab every opportunity to serve, whenever asked, to live life, to love and be loved, and to laugh often.

Hurrah for Israel!!!!!

By Gretta Holzworth

Diary of a Public Pool Novice

A long time ago (12 months), in a suburb (not that) far away...

I was stressed and exhausted. It was a really busy time of year  and I was getting very little sleep or wind-down time in amongst everything else.  The weather was warm and sunny, and I found myself longing to be out doing something active.  This was a new and strange feeling for me (what?! Go outside?! But it's hot! And there's no air conditioning out there!!).

When to make things even stranger, I had a sudden urge to go swim some laps.  I'd been trying to add a little exercise into my life, and I think the idea of being in cool refreshing water on a hot day (and, let's face it, not going for a run or some other kind of outdoor exercise) was almost exciting!

Long story short, a couple of weeks later I found myself at our local swimming pool.  It's gorgeous and old with a great sense of character and a real 'neighbourhood feel' to it.  I love it! (that's not it in the above picture by the way.... that's just a Google pool... )

Anyway, the thing about swimming laps at a local pool, if you haven't done it, is that after the excitement of buying some goggles and paying for your pass and walking through the pool area feeling all summery and sporty and, well, 'cool', you find yourself standing at the side of the pool staring at the people who are 'actually cool'.  And they swim those laps like machines.  I stood there for about 5 minutes trying to decide whether it would be more embarrassing to get in the pool with the machines, or to walk back through the entrance past the women who knows I only came in 2 minutes ago...

But I told myself not to be a coward (pull yourself together woman!),  watched everyone for another 10 minutes to try and figure out the rules, and then took a deep breath and forced myself to get in the water and (let's face it) annoy all the machines.

Here are some things I've learnt:

1) During busy times, there are lots of people in each lane.  You're supposed to find a gap and jump in, joining everyone else in swimming up on the left and down on the right.

2) People don't love it when you accidentally kick them in the head.

3) Choosing the lane with the 'old people' in hopes that it will be a slower lane is not actually good practise.  Not only do they often go much faster than the other lanes, but they'll also leave you feeling much worse than if you'd been in a lane with the Olympic swimmers (did that 95 year old woman just lap me?! AGAIN?!)

4)  This one took me a while to learn, but: Don't Stress.  If you're slow, people will just swim past you.  And try not to take that personally.  It's not worth drowning over (she says, with some experience)

But in the end, here is the thing I found most helpful:

5) Talk to the people at the front desk, and then through experience, work out the times when the serious swimmers are not going to be there!  I avoid the 5-7am time slot, and the 5:30-7pm time slots, and I find that then I can really (really) enjoy my visits to the pool.  On Saturdays or holidays, I like to go in the middle of the day for 30 an hour.  Or when I finish work at 4pm, I love to go straight there and swim for a bit on my way home.  I usually get a lane all to myself and can swim away with my (probably very incorrect... I keep meaning to watch some YouTube videos) swimming stroke.

I've been doing it for a year now, so I'm less intimidated. AND, I've noticed that I'm much fitter, faster and less breathy than I used to be.  I love that sun on my back and the freshness of the water, and I love that when I get out, the stress of the day has generally faded and I've got a fresh wave of energy (get it? wave?!) to accomplish some more things that evening.

Of course, regardless of all this great experience and improvement, the 94 year old ladies continue to lap me... which continues to wound my pride.... just a little.... how do they do that?!!



By Tammy Munro