EMP Mormon Journal - Sister Estelle Alfred

Two years ago, I came back to the Church after being inactive for almost seven years. During my time of inactivity, I lived as the world entices us to.  Like the great and spacious building in Lehi`s dream, I lived a life that to others outside of our faith would have been perceived as normal and happy. It is not a fact I am proud of, but it has helped shaped me into the woman I am today.  In a way, I consider my reactivation as my real conversion story.

Like the Prodigal son of old, I went out into the world to see the sights and wonders this earth possesses.  I lived overseas, away from family, friends and all I knew and was comfortable with, for six months. For a time, all was well – I lived as righteously as I could. I felt I had a firm foundation of faith in my Lord and Savior as well as trust in His infinite plan for me.  Unfortunately, due to certain experiences in my life at that time, I fell away.  I felt that because of this my Heavenly Father had turned His back on me and this confirmed my worst fear – that I was not good enough, that I was unworthy. For years this fueled my anger and to my shame, even hate.

At first, I would only go to church on what I considered special occasions: Mother's and Father’s Day, Easter and Christmas.  I did this because I knew what it would mean to my parents, who are righteous and had raised me in the love of the gospel, and required only an hour or so of my time – not much of a sacrifice.

Throughout my time of self-imposed exile I had many members try and reach out to me. For too long my heart was too hard and I rebuffed many who tried. I cannot pinpoint an exact moment of time when it changed but it did start with two women - my visiting teachers.  At first, I told them they could visit but I did not want to hear their message. Despite this, these two sisters continued to come and before they left each time would somehow manage to share their message without me even realizing it. I found I didn’t mind hearing it and my heart began to soften very slowly as it was surrounded by the love these sisters shared, not only from themselves but from the ward and from our Heavenly Father and Savior, Jesus Christ. These diligent sisters continued to visit for over a year, never wavering from their efforts.

The catalyst that pushed me into coming back was a musical fireside I attended by Kaye Starr, a talented musician from the States, who had bought her choir and gift to share. My mother has performed many cantatas by Kaye Starr, so I had grown up with her music. This night, I sat in the congregation and from the very first song, an overwhelming feeling of peace, love and rightness filled my entire being. With tears streaming down my face, I realized I was feeling the Spirit and thought “Perhaps I am not too far gone after all”. The Spirit stayed with me the entire performance, filling me with a sense of wonder and awe. Afterwards, I had many of the choir members come and thank me, because they had seen how touched by the Spirit I was, and in turn it touched them so much that they could hardly look at me during the performance. The Spirit testified to me that night that my Heavenly Father knew me, knew of my troubles and heartache, knew my sins and loved me nonetheless.

I share this with you sisters in the hope that for those of you who may be struggling at this point in time, with whatever life is throwing at you to bring you down, that you may know that no matter what, you are loved. Do not despair, do not lose hope, because if we lose hope, then Satan wins. Our Father in Heaven loves us with His whole heart and while we may do or say things that lead us away from Him, He will always continue to love us.

By Estelle Alfred

                                                                                                                                               

Estelle is married, with a beautiful six year old son.  She and her three sisters were born into the Church.  Estelle describes herself as compassionate, creative, loyal, hard-working, and responsible.  She works for Travelex, in the city, and has recently earned a promotion that will involve her traveling all over Queensland, to Darwin and to Guam.  Asked to name her happiest moment, Estelle answers that it was going to the temple for the first time after she came back to Church - there was a wonderful feeling of peace, and happiness that she was worthy to be in that sacred place.  Estelle has struggled with depression at times, but is learning that if she hangs on, it will pass. "It's a part of who I am", she says. Being active at Church  again has given her a sense of family - not just immediate family, but that the Ward and the Stake are her family too.  She feels a sense of worth and of belonging, and of being loved and accepted by all the members of her ward. "It's better - I'm now converted fully.  I've come back to Church for myself.  I feel faith and hope and love from my Heavenly Father and Saviour.  I can't do it without them.  They are walking with me every step of the way. I know I am not alone."  Estelle especially loves music, and is the Ward Music Director in Kuraby Ward.                                                                                    

By Sandy Munro

EMP Mormon Journal - Sister Karen Smibert

I am occasionally blessed to be able to accompany my husband as he fulfills his calling or priesthood responsibilities. On this particular occasion he was asked to give a priesthood blessing to a friend of mine. There was a lovely spirit in their home as we entered and chatted with them. I felt the spirit very strongly as I sat and listened to the words of the blessing.

Then something special happened. I began to see this friend differently. Through the words of the blessing and the spirit in the room, I saw her as Heavenly Father saw her. I really felt that I was able to get a glimpse of her through heaven's eyes.

I'm not sure why this happened at that time, and with this sister, because I had always felt so good towards her, but I was grateful to gain a deeper understanding of Heavenly Father's love for His children. I feel that this is what charity is. And, as most of us do, I had been regularly praying to have this charity, this perfect, Christlike love. And having this experience helped me to realise that I want to feel that all the time, with everyone. I want to see everyone through Heaven's eyes, the way Heavenly Father sees them. I would judge less, and serve more. I would think of myself less, and pray for others more. I would stay in my comfort zone less, and share the gospel more.As I pondered on this experience, a quote from Elder Wirthlin came to my mind...

"We see ourselves in terms of yesterday and today. Our Heavenly Father sees us in terms of forever. Although we might settle for less, Heavenly Father sees us as the glorious beings we are capable of
becoming."

First of all, I decided to change "ourselves" to "others". That explained how I had felt. We only know people from what has happened and what is happening in their lives. But Heavenly Father sees people
as what they may become. And I guess that is what charity is. We can see people and life with an eternal perspective. Now, I did not see this sister's future, it was more a feeling that Heavenly Father loves her.

Then I decided to keep the quote as is. And this was the second thing I needed to learn. I imagined seeing myself the way Heavenly Father sees me. As a woman, this is a hard thing to do. As I closed my eyes to ponder this thought, I also pictured the Saviour, pleading for me in Gethsemane. Because of the Atonement, my future is bright. If I can see myself as what I can become, I am a step closer to becoming like Heavenly Father. How would I act if I saw myself through heaven's eyes? Life would be bliss!!! I would be able to face and overcome any challenge with an eternal perspective.

I feel so grateful to have had that simple experience, and I continue to pray to see others and myself the way Heavenly Father does.

By Karen Smibert

Karen is the wife of our current stake president. She has a degree in Occupational Therapy, but keeps busy as a full-time mother to their four boys, ages 3, 5, 7 and 9.  Asked to describe herself, Karen says that she is, '"introverted, happy, no-nonsense, hard-working, and simple."  She loves serving and is happiest when serving, and when she is, "out in nature."  Her advice to the sisters is, "If you want the most out of your life, contribute to someone else's life."  On being married to the stake president: "It's good.  It's busy.  I'm blessed to meet and have experiences with so many people and to see so much goodness in the stake."    On Relief Society: "I like what it's all about - that 'Charity Never Faileth'.  I love Visiting Teaching.  That you make friends with people that you wouldn't normally make friends with."  Karen also plays piano and enjoys playing sport.  Her Patriarchal Blessing speaks of her seeing the good in others.


(By S.Munro)

EMP Mormon Journal - by Ally Vessi

Not long ago, I attended a ward where the Sunday School president gave a talk that stood out to me. As befitted his calling, he spoke about the importance of daily scripture study and continual gospel education. He urged the congregation to never miss a day of reading the Book of Mormon, and then bore testimony of its truthfulness and power. He mentioned that of the people he has known in his life-time who have left the Church, ALL of them had stopped reading the scriptures weeks and months prior to making the final decision to leave.

I am sadly familiar with the experience of watching loved ones decide the church is not for them. A few months ago, a particular friend of mine shared her reasons with me for giving up her membership. On the whole, she stated that living the gospel is too inconvenient and that many of its teachings “don't make sense”. After all, as she put it, what is the harm in having a drink every now and then; or going shopping on Sundays; or choosing to do other things with one's money rather than pay tithing? Choosing worldly courses of action like these seemed inconsequential to her and she couldn't see why the gospel placed such so-called restrictions on its people. Surprisingly, in my attempt to understand her point of view, I came away from that conversation on the verge of believing that her opinions were justified. That feeling didn't last long though, once the scriptures pulled me back into reality as I studied them every day.

I currently have less than 1 week to go before completing the Book of Mormon after starting the challenge in mid-March. I have NEVER before read this beautiful book of scripture in such a short amount of time, but I am eternally grateful that I did not let my lack of experience discourage me from trying. For me, this intensive approach to reading the Book of Mormon has opened up the stories within with such clarity and realism, that I sometimes feel like I was there in person.

One principle that has become more apparent to me than ever before is that the gospel of Jesus Christ is not meant to be easy. The likes of King Noah, and Laman and Lemuel, demonstrated what it can look like to follow the easy path. It is paved with deceit, greed, pride and laziness. Their goal was self-gratification and their methods took no thought for what it might cost others. In contrast, the goal of the Saviour's people was service and they took no thought for what living the gospel might cost themselves. In fact, to them it wasn't a cost at all. Sure, they made sacrifices, such as risking being killed or cruelly imprisoned by their enemies; voluntarily working tirelessly to preach the gospel; leaving the comforts and familiarity of their homes to go wherever the Lord directed them, while some lost family members and even their own lives for the Lord's sake. 

To someone without a testimony, these sacrifices might make no sense at all. However, through recent experience, I have learned an illogical (by the world's standards) yet exquisite truth: that sacrifices made in faith and with a sole desire to glorify God, bring short and long term blessings that surpass any comforts the easy path might afford. In essence, I view the sacrifices we are called to make in the Lord's church as a means to an end: a glorious, peaceful and loving end in the presence of our Heavenly Father. I have tasted the sweetness of the fruits of the gospel and have come to appreciate that the more I put into living it, the more spiritual and emotional strength I get out of it. 

Moroni teaches in Ether 12:6 that we receive no witness of the truth until after the trial of our faith. I hope the Lord can always rely on me to be willing to trial my faith no matter how hard it might seem to follow his counsel. There's still a long way to go before I will be perfect at following this principle, but in the meantime, I will read my scriptures every day, and remind myself of my commitment with this little quote by President Boyd K Packer: “The scriptures hold the keys to spiritual protection”.

By Alejandra Vessi

Beautiful Ally Vessi lives with her three delightful little girls in Springwood Ward, where she serves as a Counsellor in the ward Primary.  Ally was born in Mexico city, and is the eldest of 4 children.  She was brought up in the Church.  The family moved to Australia in 1988, when Ally was 3, so English soon became her main language.  She enjoys dancing, especially modern jive.  Also, riding her bike and playing with her children - particularly wrestling on the trampoline with them.  She loves sleep, when she can get it!  Ally has a degree in Speech Pathology from the University of Queensland, and teaches piano lessons, but her days are mostly taken up with home-schooling her 5 year old twins, (Long-Distance Education), and caring for her 3 year old.  "I'm really enjoying the process of learning that there is more than one way of doing things in life.  As long as I stay true to the gospel, life is full of various options.  I love one-on-one conversations with people, and connecting and laughing with them."

                                                                                   
(By S.Munro)             
                                              

EMP Mormon Journal - Sister Kaiserina Iva

Last week my neighbor passed away. He ended his life. And although I didn't know him very well personally, his battle has affected me, personally.

Nice kid, he was. I remember him always cruising the block in his dark blue sports car. Always with company, always smiling. I didn't know he suffered from depression. I didn't know about the struggles he endured day to day. But I found I was asking myself - did I ‘have’ to know his personal issues in order to befriend him? To say hello? To offer a smile? Of course not.

Church leaders have always encouraged us to reach out across age and cultural lines to bless and serve others. I realise that it's not limited to the women I’m assigned to Visit-Teach each month. The Lord said in D&C 38:27 'I say unto you, be one; and if ye are not one ye are not mine.'

I realise, right at this moment, that I have not been at one with the people in my community. I have not fully understood what it means to be at one with God, because if I had, I would not have unintentionally created barriers with members of my community because they live differently – because they are not Latter-day Saints, or are inactive Latter-day Saints, or for whatever other reason. I've been focusing on our differences for too long rather than the things we have in common. I've forgotten that they too, are sons and daughters of God experiencing mortality. And I have a responsibility and duty to be one with God and invite them to be one with Christ.

My children are small. In November, we’ll have 6 under 8 yrs. But I think I've been using them as my excuse to be selfish. Just because I need to have my eye on them to watch them, doesn't mean I can’t offer my friendship – or a smile, or a hello, to the people on my street, the other parents at school or others in my extended community.

  

The love of our Savior extends beyond my home. It extends beyond the Relief Society room and my comfortable little pocket of Mormon friends. It encompasses the people I live alongside, down the street with, around the corner and in the next suburb. I thought I already knew that, but I guess I’m still learning.

My neighbour's mum wrote this on his Facebook page a few days after he passed away:

To my sweet beautiful son,

The day you blessed my life I knew you were an angel sent from above. You didn't need to show your wings to me, I just knew.

It was an honor and a privilege that you chose me to be your mother and your best friend.

You held me up through life and lead me through just by the love and happiness you gave me each and everyday.

You were a guiding light through my darkest days and you were my strength when I had no more left.

I understand it was time for you to show your wings and spread them wide once again and I know that each night and day those wings are strongly wrapped around me, and you will never let me fall.

I love you as much as all the sand and if my love could have saved you, you would have lived forever.

Be at peace my beautiful angel xxx

The words of his mother touched me. And she could have easily been talking about the Saviour in her heartfelt tribute to her son.

In the case of our big brother who is Christ the Redeemer, his life was filled with daily selfless service to others. He strived for obedience and perfection, kept daily communication with Father in Heaven and acknowledged his divinity. He tells us how to pattern our lives in 3 Nephi 27:27 'What manner of men ought ye to be? Verily I say unto you, even as I am.' He suffered and was crucified for the sins of the world and rose again on the third day, preparing the way for us to overcome spiritual and physical death. Only by His mercy and grace can anyone enter into the Kingdom of our Heavenly Father. His love CAN save us. He is the Lord God Omnipotent and will be Lord of the Church, my street, community and world forever.

By Kaiserina Iva

Kaiserina was born in New Zealand and moved to Australia with her husband in 2005, one week after their marriage in the New Zealand temple. She was born in the Church, and is of Samoan and Chinese ancestry.  She speaks both Samoan and English.  Although Kaiserina misses her family in NZ, she enjoys the weather here. She enjoys being in the sun, swimming, reading and sewing.  Her current calling is to teach in Relief Society.  Past callings have included working in Primary, and playing the piano for various groups. Francis and Kaiserina are expecting their seventh child in November.  "I love being a mum.  I think it's very rewarding, and the kids are very kind. They want you to succeed, and they help you along the way." She says that the challenge from Church leaders to read the Book of Mormon twice this year "is doing wonders for me!"

(By S. Munro)

EMP Mormon Journal - By Leonie Stewart

I received some personal revelation recently. I had been pondering why answers seemed

to come to me very slowly.  In fact I sometimes wondered, when I did finally feel some light

shining on a matter I had been concerned with, if I had imagined or conjured up the answer myself.

'Doubting Thomas' would sometimes appear, discounting and devaluing the answer I had received.

I had been feeling a need to improve the quality of my prayers, and to study in different ways, when I received a direct prompting.  I was in the temple at the time and I was walking up the hallway when it stopped me in my tracks.  It felt for a moment as if I was being spoken to quite clearly, but there wasn't anyone around.  I heard clearly in my head, 'Why do you not study more and pray longer. I am trying to reach you but you are blocking.  I have much to reveal to you.'  (To maintain their sanctity I have changed the words slightly.)

So I immediately put this to the test.  I was teaching a Relief Society class the following Sunday and had prayed, (more than usual), that I could receive some very direct inspiration.  I was very specific in these longer prayers and 'talked' to Heavenly Father in a more heart-felt way.  I received unmistakable guidance that I actually knew Heavenly Father was listening.  I still can't quite get my head around how He truly does hear everybody's prayers, but now I really KNOW he does.  Longer, more thoughtful prayers and greater diligence in studying the scriptures is opening my eyes and my understanding, and better preparing me to LISTEN to the answers. 

By Leonie Stewart

Leonie joined the Church when she was 15.  Her parents were supportive though not interested, but, although she didn't know it until later, her married sister Judy, and her husband Hank, were having the missionary discussions at the same time.  They were also baptised, and were a great support.  Leonie married Rick in the New Zealand temple, and they have 4 sons, and 8 grand-children.  Leonie has a degree in psychology and worked as a counselor.  Now widowed, she still works part-time, and also keeps busy as a temple worker on Wednesday mornings and second Saturdays, which she loves! Her interests include reading, movies, and dabbling in painting.  From EMP ward, Leonie is staying with family down the coast this year.

(By S. Munro)

EMP Mormon Journal - by Adele Friswell

I ended my call to the health advice line and started crying. The nurse who took my call insisted that my baby was fine, but I knew she wasn’t. “They think I’m being ridiculous! I know this isn’t normal, something is wrong!” I sobbed to my husband as he held our screaming baby. Each evening John was faced with a similar scenario - Gwenevere (Gwen) crying in pain and me crying in frustration and distress. Every day our baby daughter would become more and more distressed as the day went on; in the evenings she struggled to feed and would scream, cry and writhe seemingly forever before falling asleep for only short periods of time.

The previous night John had given Gwen a Priesthood blessing that reassured us of Heavenly Father’s love for and interest in Gwen and said that she would be calm and that her body would be well and function normally. She had been calm that evening, but the problem had returned. I asked John if he would give Gwen another blessing. I couldn’t understand why the first blessing hadn’t cured our baby. I had faith, didn’t I?  He explained that he couldn’t keep giving her blessings for the same thing, and reminded me that the Lord would bless us with a solution once we had done everything in our power. I started crying harder – I wanted my baby to be better NOW and I didn’t know what else to do, my phone call to the health advice line was another dead end.

Later that week I met with my new employer. I had begun working from home a few hours a week doing marketing and systems tasks for a baby sleep and feeding expert. I felt like a fraud working with a baby professional when my own parenting experience was going so badly. When she asked how my baby was I was tempted to tell her that everything was fine. John’s words that we would be blessed after doing everything we could came to mind, and I remembered the many prayers I had said pleading for help. This was my chance, if I could be humble enough to just ask. Of course Heavenly Father knew I had access to her expertise… and that I was too embarrassed to talk to her about what I perceived was my failing as a parent. I answered her question honestly, explaining how difficult things were and outlining why I thought something was wrong with Gwen. She listened kindly and asked a few questions before she said it sounded like food intolerance and would I consider making some changes to my diet?

Since that conversation about food intolerances the Lord has indeed blessed us with a thousand small miracles that have made our path to a solution simple and speedy. My employer helped me to take several common irritants out of my diet, and Gwen improved immediately. Then she referred us to a Paediatric Dietician when it became clear that we needed more specialised help to figure out the last few issues. Usually there is a several month wait for appointments, but we secured a cancellation spot the next week. A friend lent me her car to get to the appointment. Afterwards two different friends I hadn’t seen for months made contact with me and just happened to have exactly the resources I needed to remove allergens from Gwen’s environment and stick to the strict elimination diet that has cured almost all of her symptoms.

Gwen is happy and almost completely well now.  I know that as I continue to do everything I can to care for our daughter and to stay close to the Lord we will continue to be richly blessed. 

By Adelle Friswell

Adelle was born into the Church and has been married for six years to her husband, John.  They live in Springward Ward with their beautiful young daughter, Gwen, where Adelle and John are currently serving as the Faith in God leaders.  Adelle's past callings include Nursery Leader and Public Affairs.  She graduated from Griffith University with a Bachelor of Commerce degree with Honours, and is now taking extended maternity leave. Her interests include paper craft and baking.  Adelle believes in being politically aware, and in being pro-active with health, and describes herself as creative, intelligent, married and a mother.

(By S.Munro)

EMP Mormon Journal - By Sarah Hunt Mahler

One night I went to bed and by the time I woke, my whole world was different and would never be the same.

The events of the night of the 2nd of September 1995 changed my life in ways I could never have imagined.  I had returned home after having enjoyed an evening with some dear friends.  My downstairs bedroom in a friend’s old Queenslander home was my haven.  As I said my prayers before going to sleep, I acknowledged how blessed I felt to live in such a beautiful place, surrounded by the company of wonderful friends.

When I was startled by a very bright torch light blinding my eyes a few hours later, I wasn’t certain if I was awake or asleep and tried to orient myself to make sense of what was happening.  The young man’s words and actions made it very clear that he had evil designs on me. Overcome by fear, no sound came out when I tried to scream.  Eyes now shut, my struggle to protect myself seemed futile.  Right at the very moment I felt resigned that I couldn’t stop him from hurting me or continue defending myself any longer, my elderly neighbour turned on her kitchen light.  The slight illumination cast into my room caused the man to jump off me and run away.  My wounds were tended to and the police, detectives and K9 unit were eventually satisfied that they’d investigated the incident as best they could.

Realising the mass and mess of emotions and issues I now had to deal with left me doubting if I would ever feel normal or whole again.  Overcoming my intense fear of the dark, my inability to sleep soundly, and feeling unsafe around many male strangers seemed insurmountable.  I felt broken and scared, fearful of what the next day would bring, incapable of making any plans for the future.

Not knowing anyone else who had experienced a brutal assault and attempted rape left me feeling painfully alone.  Although I had loving and supportive friends and family around me, there was very little they could actually do to help ease my inner aching.  I attended counselling, and that did help somewhat.  Ultimately though, my road to healing came from turning my entire broken self over to the Saviour, completely submitting myself to Him and trusting in Him as my confidant and best friend.  I threw myself into the study of His word in the scriptures and found messages that felt specifically tailored to me.  The greatest lesson He taught me came when I began to understand the depth and breadth of His atonement.  Under His divine tutelage, I learned that the Saviour’s atonement is not only necessary and beneficial for those who sin, but is especially and specifically tailored for those who have been sinned against through the actions of others.

In a poem I wrote a couple of years after the assault, I explained my understanding of this principle in these words: “Sarah, in the Garden of Gethsemane I bled from every pore and by accepting my offering, you need suffer no more.  I have paid the price for the sin of that man.  Though he may never see justice by the law of this land, he hasn’t escaped the law of eternity, that is, unless, he too comes unto Me.”  My Saviour taught me that His atonement had already paid for my perpetrator’s violent acts against me.  Because of His perfect sacrifice, I could be cleansed from all its effects, be healed and become whole again.  Realising this also illuminated an empathy and compassion for my perpetrator that I would never have anticipated.  I was able to completely forgive him and release feelings of ill will against him.  I sincerely hope he will find Jesus Christ in his life and partake of His atonement in order that he too might become whole and heal from his pain.

The assault has been among my life’s greatest trials.  It has also truly been among my greatest blessings and strength sources as I reflect on the lessons learned.  I discovered things about myself, my Heavenly Father and Jesus Christ that I could have learned in no other way. Paraphrasing William R. Palmer’s famous pioneer quote, the experience was well worth the price I had to pay for the privilege of becoming acquainted with God in my extremities.  I testify that our Saviour lives and His atonement is real.

By Sarah Hunt Mahler


Sarah is the eldest of four children in the Hunt family - three girls and one boy.  Her parents were both converts.  Sarah also has four children - three girls and one boy.  After a period of being single for four and a half years, Sarah married, 'the love of my life', in December last year, and she and her family are very happy.  While living in the States, Sarah completed a College Associate degree and Certificate in Para-Legal Studies, at the LDS Business College in Salt Lake City.  She is now studying a degree in Psychology with Honours, part-time at Griffith University.  When she has time, Sarah LOVES to rummage through second-had stores - she loves the 'thrill of the quest'!  She also loves swing-dancing and rockabilly.  Asked to describe herself, Sarah answered, 'resourceful, thrifty, introverted, confident, and responsible'.  


(By S.Munro)